Happy wife, happy life…Day 37

I am in the process of reading a very interesting book called, ‘The Fall of Western Man’. I will not go into the book in full detail but it is a book I would strongly suggest reading.

Here is a quote: “If the male can be described as the ‘head of the house’, the female could easily be described as the ‘heart of the home’.”

We often struggle in relationships that do not acknowledge the natural roles of nature. By this I mean, women naturally nurture and men naturally show authority or strength. I am not saying that women are not strong or men are not able to be caring. What I am saying is each person in a relationship has a natural role. With this given role, each must understand that the female is more emotionally driven while the man is more physically driven. 

With that said, I would like remind those out there that when you have a happy wife, you have a happy life. If you do not want her “nagging” you to get something done, then do it with the understanding that she feels it needs to be done for a reason. This small accomplishment leads to her being happy and in turn, she shows her loving side that you would prefer to see. 

It can also be applied to parenting. Mother’s being the natural sensitive person, it hurts her to have to reprimand the children on a constant basis. If a mother says to the child, “Wait till your father gets home.”, it is because she is acknowledging that the child is going beyond her authority level and needs the masculine assertion from the father. While this may sound like the child is not respecting the authority of the mother, you are correct….That is why the parents operate as a co-parent and back each other up when one is feeling overwhelmed. The father steps in and his feelings are not so tense from handling it and can rationalize with the child with authority to teach the child the with appropriate reprimand. 

Don’t forget that in this world where we always want to forced equality, we are not the same by nature and we should acknowledge those attributes in our relationships. Because a happy wife gives you a happy life…In due time.

Feeling unloved…Day 36

Quite often I feel unloved. I am a mother that has to reprimand, deliver consequences, be the enforcement, the one that says no, give hard advice, and even the person that is viewed as a warden or hard ass. But I have feelings too. I clean up after you and you don’t even know it. I take care of the small things you don’t even think about before they become a gigantic problem. I am the one that remembers each person’s birthday, likes and dislikes, thinks of you when no one else does, and tries to get you to reach for your best.

I am often the person that is greeted by yelling, an argument, complaints, pains, scratches to stitches, and complete disrespect. You would think after how much I do for all those around me that those would not have an issue with expressing appreciation or follow through with chores and responsibilities. You would think that even how much I care for even my dog that she would whine for me instead of my husband who only acts as a cuddler to her.

No, I am feeling unloved and unappreciated. And when I am gone, they will learn the role I served…In due time.

I’m angry…Day 35

I find I am angry quite often at my husband. I don’t go out of my way to pick fights, rather I feel he goes out of his way to pick fights with me. I know often it is when he is drinking. Alcohol does not do our relationship well. I have never given him an ultimatum that he quite drinking or I leave because he has to make that decision himself. Instead I pray and hope that things will change.

I have my own faults and I deal with my own issues. We all have issues that we have to face, just some different from others. I don’t think he is a bad person because he instigates arguments when he is drinking, in fact, he is a very caring and loyal person. Because of knowing who he is, I have struggled through the years with his ups and downs. But when is it enough for me?

I have asked myself, how many times do I brush it off and forgive? The reason I have made it this far is because the answer of…

Matthew 18:21-22 21Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

This doesn’t mean literally 77 times. What this means is that you should always forgive as God ALWAYS forgives us of our sins because of his love for us. This is a tough lesson. While I know in my heart that I have asked for forgiveness of my own wrongdoings, I feel reassured and loved by God that he will ALWAYS love and accept me. This attribute is what a marriage is supposed to hold. This is why I say that your spouse should be your best friend…The person that will love you and accept you, even when you have done wrong… Because that wrong does not make the whole person. It is an instant…A mistake because we are not perfect.

So…I find myself angry often and I push myself to remember that I can not change him. I can not make him do anything he doesn’t not want to do. I pray that God will give a loving hand but I also know that His will be done….In due time.

Need more confidence…Day 34

I am still finding that I have trouble writing with anyone around. Even though this post could be read on the web by anyone, I still feel a sense of being alone with my thoughts here. But if I am not physically alone, I don’t feel comfortable with typing out my thoughts for someone else to look over my shoulder and scrutinize. 

Particularly, I don’t want my husband to look over my shoulder; not because anything I say is disrespectful to him but because he is my biggest critic. I tend to take things more personally than what people intend and with that, I tend to take my husband’s words harsher than what he intends. This isn’t his fault, it is mine for being insecure. 

My insecurity comes from my many experiences through life. And while my mother would encourage me to become whatever my heart desires, my heart aches because I do not hear encouraging words enough. I know I can do anything I set my mind to…But I am a person that needs someone else to give me loving nudges. I’m not lazy, just insecure…But I’m working on it…In due time.