I’m angry…Day 35

I find I am angry quite often at my husband. I don’t go out of my way to pick fights, rather I feel he goes out of his way to pick fights with me. I know often it is when he is drinking. Alcohol does not do our relationship well. I have never given him an ultimatum that he quite drinking or I leave because he has to make that decision himself. Instead I pray and hope that things will change.

I have my own faults and I deal with my own issues. We all have issues that we have to face, just some different from others. I don’t think he is a bad person because he instigates arguments when he is drinking, in fact, he is a very caring and loyal person. Because of knowing who he is, I have struggled through the years with his ups and downs. But when is it enough for me?

I have asked myself, how many times do I brush it off and forgive? The reason I have made it this far is because the answer of…

Matthew 18:21-22 21Then Peter came up and said to him, “Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?”22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.

This doesn’t mean literally 77 times. What this means is that you should always forgive as God ALWAYS forgives us of our sins because of his love for us. This is a tough lesson. While I know in my heart that I have asked for forgiveness of my own wrongdoings, I feel reassured and loved by God that he will ALWAYS love and accept me. This attribute is what a marriage is supposed to hold. This is why I say that your spouse should be your best friend…The person that will love you and accept you, even when you have done wrong… Because that wrong does not make the whole person. It is an instant…A mistake because we are not perfect.

So…I find myself angry often and I push myself to remember that I can not change him. I can not make him do anything he doesn’t not want to do. I pray that God will give a loving hand but I also know that His will be done….In due time.

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