I have always been a spiritual or religious person. For a long time I followed the labels. I explored different religions. I even attended Catholic Mass and confession during military basic training. But for a long time, because I found the Christian churches I went to were not Godly people, I taught my children the balance of life. I taught them right from wrong and respect for others. I even taught them the doubts I had on religion. For teaching them my doubts, I deeply regrets.
I fear that teaching them my doubts and not raising them with the label of Christianity has hurt them. Or at least, I fear it may have led a few further from the path than I had hoped.
This past October my sister-in-law invited us to Life.Church for the baptism of her two children. I was totally excited! When I got to the church, it was not what I expected. It was loud with colorful spotlights dark and bright at the same time like a concert. It was not a church I have ever attended! But we sat and was there for family. To my surprise, I enjoyed the service! I enjoyed it so much that I looked forward to hearing the next Sunday service. To be honest though, after a couple of months we stopped going in person and started casting it on the TV at home. While I prefer the at home on TV experience, my husband prefers the in person experience.
Each week there is something in the service that speaks to the happenings of my life. (Today Pastor Craig talked about his wife being his best friend…something I have been talking about with my husband) And while I have listened and learned each week, my heart always pulls me back to my older children that I did not raise in a Christian home. I worry most about my eldest that seems to struggle with finding the right person to share his life with. And I fear that my other son that now lives with him will share in the like emotional detachment. Don’t get me wrong, my children are good people and adults. I love them and am very proud of each of them. I just worry that some may have fallen away from God’s path too far.
So, what is the point of the blog today besides the rambling of my shortcomings and finding the right service? My point is never give up finding the right service for you. If you are searching for Jesus and need some guidance, pray. Don’t give up. I am happy to have found Life.Church. And if you have wouldn’t mind, please pray for my older boys that they will come back to the path of love and light with Jesus…in due time.
I Want to Believe But…Part 1 On-Demand God
I Want to Believe But…Part 2 Killjoy God
I Want to Believe But…Part 3 Goosebump God
I Want to Believe But…Part 4 Heartless God
In Due Time 